Taking A Breath

Today I found myself feeling defeated, not for the first time, but I just felt that I should share my thoughts this time.

I'm not defeated, but I am disappointed.

Not disappointed in myself, but disappointed because I had such high expectations and I'm not experiencing the expected results since I've started this venture.

I'm asking myself if this is really in the cards for me and is it my calling. How do you just know the right answers?

This kind of feeling is crippling because it defies everything that I believe in and everything that I post and share and want others to believe in as well.

How can I say "Don't give up" when I feel like that what I need to do... for my own sanity.

How do I reprocess these thoughts to make them positive, when I don't see any positive signs myself?

Maybe I'm going through a rough patch. Maybe I'm expecting faster growth and results than is possible. Maybe I'm comparing myself.

Maybe I'm being realistic. Is that wrong?

Is thinking realistically detrimental to my journey? Or is it my understanding of myself and instinctual self-preservation that caused this feeling?

This is a part of the journey and I do not have all the answers, but what matters is that I am seeking them. This is my journey.

Update:

I wrote this over a year ago and for some reason, I chose not to publish it. Perhaps because I believe strongly in the power of written and spoken words, but my decision to publish it now is based on wanting to share the parts of me that are not always bright and full of positivity and confidence. I want to acknowledge that everyone has their low points and the key to making it through these times is unwavering faith. Knowing that this journey is about learning and growing, which is sometimes accompanied by difficulties and failures that we must overcome.

I hope that with this message I can inspire some encouragement in such a time of uncertainty.