My Top 10 Self Care Holy Grails

My Top 10 Self Care Holy Grail

“Self care” seems to have become a trending theme, especially now that we’re in such a time of uncertainty and unprecedented isolation throughout the world. Apart from our individual anxieties about this time, there’s also the thought of the bigger picture. Most of us may have fears and anxieties that relate to the circumstances of people who are explicitly affected by the pandemic. At this point in time I would like to remind you that there are many things that are completely out of our control and what matters is placing our focus and energy on what we can control, and in areas that we can offer assistance, support and positivity. Remember any small act of kindness makes an impact and a difference.

So in a time where we have no choice but to spend more alone time with ourselves, let’s discuss this phenomenon called “self care”. Self care essentially refers to any activity that is deliberately performed by an individual, motivated by their own interest in and intention, to take care of their mental, physical, emotional and spiritual health. By this definition, it obviously goes deeper than getting your hair and nails done or buying yourself those new shoes. It goes a lot deeper than working out and drinking water.

The essence of self care is that it takes each individual on a journey of self discovery, discipline, learning and coming to understand themselves. This however, is not the easiest path to take because on this journey we are forced to face our naked selves and take full responsibility for who we are, despite our past experiences. Absolutely not an easy task if you ask me, but the beauty of it is that this is when we begin to heal.

So when I talk about TEN Self Care Holy Grails, it might sound like a hefty bunch. When my friend suggested this topic to me though, I said “Bet! I’m sure I can think of at least 10.”

To me it seems like every part of my day is characterized by various self care practices, and I promise you I don’t do anything too extra. Some of these simply take a few minutes, while some I need to plan ahead of time and spend more time and some money on. Either way, they are never too overwhelming or stressful because the outcome is always beneficial to my well being and health.

Self Care Holy Grail #1 : Practicing My Spirituality Daily

So it’s not a question what I believe in. I believe in God and I am a firm believer that God and the Universe are one in the same. The way I see it is that every principle that applies when we speak of miracles, prayer and worship goes hand in hand with the laws of the universe.

I pray in the morning and night time, as well as throughout the day. When I am alone in my room I speak to God as though He is right there beside me. One of my favorite ways to pray is to sing along to my favorite worship songs, because music somehow moves the soul in a much more impactful way. This practice helps me to start my day off with gratitude and renewed purpose - two important aspects of daily motivation.

If you are not religious, you may find benefits in quiet meditation in order to quiet your mind and connect with nature. I usually take some time to meditate and breathe deeply when I am experiencing heightened anxiety or panic attacks. These were more prevalent when I was still in school and when my relationships with friends and loved ones were unhealthy or toxic, but they do still occur occasionally in my adult life. Speaking from my own experience, you may not know when or why you are extremely anxious or why you’re having a panic attack, but knowing how to deal with it effectively is important.

During the bouts of anxiety prayer might seem overwhelming because you can’t always put into words what you’re feeling and what you need. This is where meditation helps. I usually find a comfortable, quiet space where I can sit or lay down, close my eyes and just breathe. Sometimes I put on a Guided Meditation video on YouTube, which helps me avoid getting distracted and letting my thoughts run wild. Sometimes the source of anxiety is overthinking situations that you have no control over, so if you’re an overthinker I highly recommend trying Guided Meditation.

Prayer, meditation and spirituality definitely help me to release any kind of negative energy I may be bottling inside me and to let go of my worries, knowing that whatever I may be experiencing, I am not carrying these burdens alone. My daily prayers only take about 5 minutes, and I can pray or listen to and sing worship music while doing other activities. If you are doing Guided Meditation you can decide how long you want to go based on how long you are capable of staying focused, or how much time you may have to do so. My maximum is usually 15 minutes before I start fidgeting... Lol!

Self Care Holy Grail #2 : Investing In Personal Aesthetics

Whether it be skin care, hair care, getting your nails done or perfecting your makeup skills, investing your time and money in this area certainly makes an impact on how you feel. Apart from physically taking care of yourself, this involves taking responsibility for and loving your own physical appearance.

Everyone has insecurities, I’ve had my fair share of them all throughout my life, but in my experience I stopped worrying about what might be seen as attractive or unattractive and placed my focus on looking and feeling healthy. As a twenty-something year old entering into adulthood, there is nothing that makes me feel more confident that being healthy, taking care of my body and expressing myself through style.

Take the time to learn what your body needs. Create small routines for the morning and night time where you take about 10 minutes to cleanse, moisturize and treat your skin. Go to the salon to get a nice haircut or hairstyle. Treat yourself to a mani-pedi or a facial and massage once in a while. Keep your nails done or properly trimmed and your facial hair neat and clean. These simple tasks make a huge difference and when you look good you automatically feel good.

Self Care Holy Grail #3 : Regular Exercise And Rest

This, of course is an obvious one if you ask me. I bet you know all about the ways in which exercise benefits the body and the mind. Whether you like to hit the gym, book a session with your personal trainer, or get physical outdoors, exercise should be done on a regular basis. Get your blood pumping, endorphins producing and body moving. You may feel sore and tired sometimes, but that just means your body is growing stronger and rejuvenating.

Speaking of feeling sore and tired, it is also very important to know when your body needs rest. Getting enough hours of sleep makes the world of a difference in your everyday proceedings. When you are well rested you get more done, your mind is awake and can focus better, and everything you have planned for your day seems more possible. So, with that let me emphasize the importance of learning to rest when your body needs it. You don’t want to burn yourself out or hurt your body by doing too much, so make sure to feel out where you can push further and when you need to give yourself a break.

Self Care Holy Grail #4 : Nourishing Your Body

So in my circumstance I was never really taught how to cook to feed myself until I was properly into adulthood. By that, I mean a few weeks ago... Nevertheless, it has been a mind blowing experience learning how to feed and nourish myself properly. This I must say is one of the benefits of this stay at home movement during this pandemic because I no longer have the ease of access to fast food and I’m now living on my own.

By no means does this Self Care Holy Grail mean that you have to be able to cook for yourself. It does mean that you should learn how to nourish yourself properly. Make sure that the food and drink that you consume regularly provides the necessary nutrients that the body needs. Feed yourself well. Eat your fruits and vegetables, drink lots of water, consume things that make your body feel good. Additionally, don’t be afraid to try new things. There’s so much creative and delicious food out there, let yourself experience all that goodness once in a while.

Self Care Holy Grail #5 : Indulge In Your Hobbies

A crucial part of my self care journey is reconnecting with the things that I enjoy doing. For me, getting back to my writing has brought a lot of joy back to my life. I’ve realized that when I am unhappy or experiencing bouts of depression, I am also not putting my time and energy into the things that I love to do. When I am taking care of myself, I take the time to delve into my hobbies.

During this time I’ve seen so many people reconnecting with their hidden talents and forgotten hobbies and expressing how much it has been helping them to cope. This is a more pronounced and large scale illustration of how doing things you love can help you improve your mood and general happiness, so imagine the personal benefit you can experience when you take a bit of time out of your day or week to indulge in your own hobbies.

Self Care Holy Grail #6 : Keep Learning

As adults sometimes we get too caught up to realize that we are still learning and adapting on a regular basis. There are so many things that formal education does not teach us in our developing years which would be beneficial to us in our adult years. Self care to me includes learning where you can improve and taking the necessary steps to do so.

Based on our experiences, we get to know the areas in which we lack skills and knowledge. These could be soft skills like communication, problem solving and conflict resolution, or hard skills like accounting and doing your taxes. And you can certainly bet for every skill you want to learn or improve, there’s some sort of material available to teach you how. The best part about this generation is that all kinds of information are readily available, accessible, affordable or even free.

This can also apply to individual personal skills, like improving your mindset and developing emotional intelligence, or even just consuming material and content that helps you feel better about yourself or understand yourself better. I strongly believe that getting to know and understand yourself better is a very fundamental aspect of self care because it guides you towards what you need and what boundaries you should maintain for your own comfort and wellbeing.

Self Care Holy Grail #7 : Positive Self Reassurance

I’m sure you’ve probably heard the term “positive self talk” before. Sounds pretty simple and basic, doesn’t it? Well that’s because it is. A trend I absolutely detest is making it ”funny” to say negative things about yourself and even worse, saying “I hate myself”. It’s not cute, and speaking badly about yourself constantly with people who consider and care about you, it’s a bit toxic. We need to normalize speaking positively about ourselves and each other, and celebrating the positives that we see in each other.

In that same breath we need to speak positively about things that are happening in our lives. I love saying affirmations while I’m doing the most random things. I’d be folding laundry and telling myself “today is a great day”, “I’m feeling great”, “I’m so happy”, “my life is full of love”. It’s not hard to do and it automatically brings more positive energy into your life. Remember that self care involves treating yourself with love and care, and this includes the way you speak to and of yourself.

Self Care Holy Grail #8 : Looking Your Best

Whether you’re getting ready for work, to get out with your friends or just spending the day at home (like we all are these days), putting in the effort to look put together and ready does a lot for your own self care. The same way your parents would bathe, clean and get you ready as a baby is the same care and attention you should give yourself when you are starting or ending your day. As adults we are entrusted with performing these duties on our own, and when we are slacking our bodies know... we even get cranky the same way a baby that needs a diaper change gets.

On days when you are feeling low and need a pick me up, get yourself properly ready, put on some makeup or pick out your favorite outfit to wear that day. It’s honestly a huge pick-me-up to see yourself looking spiffy and put together when you don’t feel at your best on the inside. Fake it till you make it, honey. You’d be surprised how quickly and easily this simple task can change your mood to a more positive one.

Self Care Holy Grail #9 : Quality Time

Life gets busy and sometimes we unintentionally forget to check in with loved ones. In my experience this happens without me realizing how much time has passed since I’ve spent time or checked in with family and friends. However, this is something that I consider a huge aspect of my love language. I feel loved when I spend quality time with those I love. This is why I consider spending quality time with loved ones a Self Care Hold Grail.

Not only is it an enjoyable experience catching up with friends and family, but it always leaves you with new thoughts and lessons, and a renewed sense of love and belonging, which is a fundamental human need according to Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. Not getting too technical, but I’m sure we can all agree that we need a little (or for some people, a lot) of interpersonal connection to feel good. Therefore spending that quality time with friends and loved ones easily takes its place on the self care regimen.

Self Care Holy Grail #10 : Knowing When to Say When

Without discounting the importance of the last nine points, I would arguably say this one is the most important, and it applies across all the previously mentioned self care holy grail strategies. We need to acknowledge what our boundaries are and enforce those boundaries with ourselves and others. We need to know when we’ve had enough, when to say know, when we can not offer any more of ourselves, “when to say when”. (No, I am not plagiarizing Drake right now, it’s a quote Lol)

You need to become in tune with yourself well enough to know when you need to take time for yourself, to sign off from your social (and social media) life, to just be alone and not be bothered. It’s very okay to need and want that. Spending time alone also helps you to become more familiar with your needs and gives you time to process how you are feeling without influence. It’s like spending quality time with yourself. In my opinion, this one is most important to master because it helps you in each other practice mentioned above.

It took me a few days to put this blog post together because these are the things I actually do in my everyday life. When it’s “me time” I don’t even get into my writing because sometimes I pour myself out into these posts and it’s not something I can offer all the time.

I do hope that some of these help anyone reading this and give you all some ideas to improve your self care game. They aren’t too overwhelming for me and I definitely do not have rigid rules and schedules to do these things. We are all works of art in progress, but if you ask me, the journey is the most beautiful part. Allow yourself to experience each moment of it.

Thank you for reading!

- Gabi